 Once released from lockup, stop by donut store. Do not take donuts from the station house, as police tend to be territorial about their pastries. When home, preheat oven to 350℉. Break donuts into large chunks. Warm milk together with salt in a small pot. Vow, with absolute sincerity, that you will never ever drink again. Place donut chunks in baking dish. Check fridge to see if you have any beer. You do. Natch. Have one. Beat egg yolks, sugar, and vanilla. (Don't bother with the electric mixer: a fork will do.) Drizzle into milk, then pour egg mixture over donuts. Put baking dish in a water bath (a larger dish filled partway with water) and bake for 45 minutes. While it's cooking, enjoy three or four more beers, as desired. Then prank call the officers who busted you last night; tell them you found Mike Oxlong's wallet. Hang up. Enjoy more beer, as available. Take donut pudding out of oven; eat directly from baking dish. Pass out. When you wake up, go down to precinct and tell the arresting officers in person what they can do with their warrants. Repeat. | |
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